Happy (?) New Year

It’s the first of the month… and a Monday… AND the start of the New Year… what a day to begin a journey!  I can only imagine the thousands (upon thousands) of people who just started a new diet or went back to an old one in attempt to finally keep the lose weight/get healthier resolution they just made.

I’ve been there.  I can feel that excitement, but only from former experience.
My current feeling:  meh
I’d like to blame it all on the fact that I am currently sick, but part of me knows that’s just a lie and I probably would be doing about the same even if I wasn’t sick… maybe.

I really let myself enjoy the holiday season.
My passion project got me out of the health swing of things and exercise got dropped and I got used to that.  So even when the passion simmered and I was in a holding pattern waiting for answers from others, I neglected to get back to prioritizing exercise.

At first, I managed to maintain the weight loss I’d achieved, but as the holidays went on and I indulged in such things as hot chocolate with a candy cane, Christmas cookies, peppermint bark, nachos (ok, not really holiday related but just thought I’d include it), eggnog and chocolates.
The weigh crept back on (oh imagine that!)
I still wasn’t worried… wasn’t phased by it.  Honestly, I’m still not.
I may have been able to lose weight while visiting my in-laws over the holiday for the first time ever, but those were regain pounds I was losing anyway.
Even as I sit here, 12.2 lbs higher than my lowest weight recently achieved (oops… that’s over my 10 lb gain rule!!!) I still feel like several of those pounds are just bloat and now that I did finally get into that lower weight range, that I’ll be able to get back to it easier than what it originally took to get there.

Weight ranges in my body are like sawing a piece of wood.  Going into the first time you have to put in the most work… break the surface and go back and forth, back and forth and finally make some progress.
Over the holidays the saw blade came out entirely, but the path formerly sawed is still there, I just need to work that saw back into and get back to where I was.
Yep, that’s how I see it, so therefore I’m not to worried… it’s all about getting back to it and not having this indulgence continue on until mid-February (I’m speaking from experience here).

I did attempt to start this day off differently than the last few weeks.  I fasted until afternoon, was up on my feet cleaning and de-Christmasing the house.   Unfortunately, I was not getting in enough water during this time as all of a sudden my throat became super soar.  It was the weirdest thing.  I’ve been sick since Christmas day and normally the sore throat portion of the cold is at the beginning.
But this came on quick and was REALLY bad.
Not only was swallowing painful, I couldn’t even talk without pain!
Luckly, I had a Cepacol lozenge on hand to suck on, otherwise that would have been some serious torture.
Happily, it subsided.  Still have NO IDEA what was up with that.  All other symptoms remain: coughing, stuffy nose, phlegm, crackling and clogged ears and general head fuzziness.
What I wanted to do was sit on the couch, play solitaire on my phone (an actual smartphone! I finally gave up my flip phone – hello 21st century, I have joined you!) and watch Gilmore Girls on Netflix.
But I was up and being productive and sticking to my fast.
When I finally ate, I went back to my old staple:  fried egg whites
It was a good start, however it all went downhill from there.

I just wanted to sit, take a break from being on my feet all day up until that point and have something to eat and really get to enjoy it in peace.
But I kept being interrupted.  #momlife
Each time I got up for my kids, I’d grab something else to eat that I could hopefully sit down and get to enjoy *fully* before the next interruption.
Nope, interrupted again… and again.
First it was popcorn, then cookies, then chips… oy.
Then I finally had enough, it wasn’t working… I could spend ALL DAY on the couch aiming to get just 10-15 STRAIGHT minutes to sit and chill.
So plenty full, I gave up and went back to packing up our holiday decorations.

I’m going to be real honest here… my pantry is like a dieter’s NIGHTMARE right now.  And instead of listing all the stuff in there, I’m going to just share a picture.
pantry pic 01Jan2018

There are even more bags of those Trader Joe’s Crunchy Curls than you can see there.  We only go to Trader Joe’s once a year and I told my hubby to ‘get a few bags’ and he came home with TWENTY-THREE bags.  He bought them out!
Holy hell.
At least they aren’t potato chips, but oy… way too many buddy!  I’m glad I’m not addicted to them and can avoid them pretty easily, but STILL.
And the actual potato chips you see there… that is on him as well.  He just picked those up the last time he went to the store without me.  And ranch dip to go with them.

So I have this pantry to contend with on my road back to giving a crap about myself and undoing the holiday damage I’ve done.  Yay me.
I can do it.  I’ve done it before.  I just need to get out of this rut of ‘I’ll do better *tomorrow*’ and actually DO BETTER… now.

Today may have been a fail, but that doesn’t mean tomorrow has to be.
My biggest hurdle is feeling like crap like I do now.  I have limited energy, can’t taste much, and can’t breathe out of my nose.  I HATE being sick.  I’ve spent the majority of the fall and beginning of winter sick.  Ugh.
I know it’s not an excuse, but at the same time, it’s REALLY not helping.
And you know that old adage… “feed a cold, starve a fever”.
Damn I wish I’d never heard that.  It goes through my head EVERY time I have a cold.

I did manage to wake up, weigh myself and immediately take new ‘before’ photos since it was the start of a New Year.
So there’s that.
I have untyped, unvoiced resolutions floating around in my head, but am too meh to make them anything solid… right now.  All I want right now is to not be sick anymore.
So… Happy New Year.   I hope those thousands had way more success today than I did.


About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
This entry was posted in journal, Personal, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s