Since the first long appointment is now completed, I feel more confident to share my big news. As long as he meets all the insurance requirements in the coming months to get approval, my husband will be having the gastric sleeve procedure this August! This is major because my hubby has maybe put in 5% of the effort I have for weight loss over the course of the last almost 18 years of marriage.
He’s never been “in” to it and doesn’t like giving up anything and automatically turns his nose up to foods that are an obvious healthier alternative and always just eventually feels hungry and goes back to his usual portions.
The fact that he’d be willing to do this is well, HUGE. He knows it involves changes and dieting for 3-4 month prior to the surgery and he’s still willing.
This all came about because the in-office $90 vasectomy he had back in December of last year was a fail. Apparently, this type of failure only happens less in than 1% (people keep telling us to buy a lottery ticket).
So, because we’re in a new insurance year, we had put nothing towards our deductible yet and the secondary procedure is more involved, happening in a hospital with him being put under general anesthesia (to the tune of $13,000), this is going to cost us. After insurance, my hubby will have met his deductible AND hit his personal out-of-pocket max for the year.
So you know what that means! It’s ‘DO EVERYTHING HE CAN’ year (medically-wise)! So, then discussion about the gastric sleeve began. We’d discussed it previously but more in the “some year when we can afford it” type of commitment.
If not for that vasectomy botch, we wouldn’t have considered it this year (as we’re still paying off my hospital bills from last year having the baby).
The gastric sleeve is when they cut your stomach down by about 80% and leave a banana shaped “sleeve” of a stomach which will make it easier to feel full and eat less. Unlike gastric bypass, the intestines will remain exactly as they are (which we preferred because then you don’t have as much of an issue with the absorption of nutrients in the foods you do eat).
So other than my hubby getting healthier and dropping some major pounds, why is this good news for *me* you ask???
Because I am a VERY susceptible person. Without intending to, I commonly take on traits of those I spend the most time with.
Time and time again I’ve said that if I just spent a year in a house with fit, healthy women who worked out and ate well (or even just a woman like Bethenny Frankel), I would NOT come out looking the way I do now. I would almost immediately follow their lead, copying their choices and actions and I’d drop weight like crazy. It’s just how I am.
I can remember when I was in high school and spent most of my afterschool time at my job at a movie theater. This gave me the opportunity to meet new people outside of classmates. My manager, who I found very charismatic, was there constantly. I noticed how when I’d be helping myself to the free soda during my shift, he chose a bottle of water. He was a very fit guy who clearly worked out during his free time. I also noticed how he seemed to check the fat grams in just about everything he ate (hey, it was the 90’s back when fat was the enemy instead of your friend). So, without even thinking about it, I started drinking more water and checking fat grams. He was also more active and I actually went out biking with him and a friend on our day off. Within a couple of months, I’d effortlessly taken off 20 lbs! In that kind of situation, it’s good to be a susceptible person.
If I’d married some buff, fit guy who worked out, ate healthy and drank protein shakes, I’d probably be the healthiest version of myself imaginable right now.
Instead, I married someone who I knew would accept the worse version of myself and would love me anyway. Problem is, that leaves me unmotivated and not inspired by the choices of my life partner.
Over the last 18 years, my weight loss successes have only existed because I went through periods of having higher will power and desire and sometimes that involved me essentially putting myself in a “bubble”.
I’ve never had my partner trying to lose weight and make better choices right along with me.
It’s so much harder to stick to a diet (of any kind) and stay on track when your partner sits next to you at 9 pm with a bowl of popcorn. Yeah, I’m going to want popcorn too. Sometimes I can resist (like during those higher determination moments) but more often I end up succumbing to the choices of my partner. He has soda, I want soda. He’s having chips, I want some chips. He wants to order pizza, we get pizza. You get the picture.
This is why him making this choice for bariatric surgery is like THE BEST thing that could happen for *me*!
He’ll be on a diet and I’ll do it happily right along with him (he has NO IDEA how much easier this will make it for him). And then afterwards, his portion sizes will be drastically smaller. I’m thinking about buying a set of smaller sized dinner plates and we BOTH can be having smaller portions. I will follow his lead.
By him getting this surgery, it will be like *I’ve* gotten it too!
I’m hoping we both start shrinking together. It’s going to look like we both had surgery and I’m sure people will ask or make assumptions. But I will proudly say I’ve done it without surgery!
I’ve just needed a partner to put in more effort for his health choices so that I can have an easier time doing it as well.
This means that FINALLY the “bad stuff” will just not be allowed in the house, for both our sakes. Me alone needing it not to come into the house wasn’t enough to stop my husband from bringing it in anyway. So many temptations just won’t be there anymore.
Since I know how he is and how miserable he’d be on the typical low fat, low calorie diet for weight loss, I think we’re going to go with high fat, low carb. All the fat (and protein) will help satiate us for the carbs we’re giving up.
I’m joining a Facebook group following this plan for a week to get a grocery list and recipe ideas and other guidelines.
I’m already picturing big taco salads… ground beef, salsa, sour cream on lettuce, tomatoes, and avocado with shredded cheddar cheese. Yum!
A big hurdle will be breakfast (not for me, but for my husband). He’s been having a big bowl of sugar cereal every morning before work for basically his entire adult life. I gave that up over 14 years ago (and it stuck since he’s up way before me and I never have to witness all the cereal eating).
We’ll have to come up with an alternative for him. I’ve already been Googling low-carb recipes and alternatives and have added things like bok choy, sour cream, hamburger, avocado and cauliflower to the grocery list.
I’m more excited for this diet to start than I have been for almost any of my diet attempts! I’m so encouraged. I really hope he can succeed on his end and therefore get approval.
We don’t know yet how many pounds the doctor would like him to lose ahead of time to shrink his liver.
If he REALLY sticks to this, I can see him dropping 50 lbs even before surgery!
Since he got officially weighed today at the bariatric clinic and I happened to weigh myself this morning, I guess this is Day 1 as far as our stats are concerned.
Our combined start weight is 710 lbs.
I can’t wait to see how this all turns out.
I really hope that filling in this missing piece to all of my former weight loss ventures for the last 18 years could mean I could finally succeed. We could look like two different people by the end of the year! SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!