Checking In

Today marks day 32 into the 100-day challenge.  I’ve stuck to my goals of drinking more water and getting in more walks.   I manage 80-120 oz of water per day (an improvement from having only 60 oz or less).  Walking frequency has increased.  At first it was only family walks, but this past week I decided to ditch them and walk on my own (with just the baby).

I’m happy to report the scale has been going the right way the last few days.  Since my monthly friend showed up (for the 2nd time postpartum), it made perfect sense I was retaining some pounds.  I feel like all I’ve been doing is letting go of the weight since it started, so that is good.
In the last 4 days, I’ve gone down 5.8 lbs.  I have successfully fasted each of those days (16.75, 16.5, 17.25 & 16 hours – intermittent fasting – via ‘The 16 Hour Diet‘ by Ashley Barnes), but I think that most of the loss was letting go of the menstrual bloat.  I’m finally moving closer to getting back down to the lowest weight I’ve reached since starting over (achieved 6 days ago): 279.8

I’ve taken nightly walks every single night this week.  I went 43 minutes last night.  I’d only been doing 30 minutes maximum prior to that… mostly because of baby and foot pain factors.  But last night Mavis had fallen asleep almost immediately in the stroller and my foot was doing better than usual for 8 pm, so I took advantage.  I would have liked to make it to 45 minutes, but my phone battery died and I didn’t know what time it was. I also knew I would have the opportunity to ice & stretch my bad foot afterwards, so I was OK pushing myself a bit more.

Three more days until my 365/50 Project revisited starts!  As of this morning I have 2.2 lbs to go to be exactly just 10 lbs more than when I left off on the Project 5 years ago (278.4 lbs).  Not sure I’ll make that goal as that is a tall order, but I went down by more than that in the last 2 days, so who knows.  If I don’t, oh well, if I do, great.  Regardless, the Project is back on starting November 15th!

When I go for walks “alone” (baby doesn’t count because she can’t tell on me), I tend to talk to myself.  This is a skill honed over years of self-talk and self-therapy, it just happens to occur the most while walking because there are no other distractions.
I am a very introspective person and I can give myself a good “what the f#&k are you doing?” talk when I need one.  But lately? I have nothing to say!
I want to have a nice little conversation with myself, but find I just get quiet quickly and look at the baby or look up at the stars (I only walk at night).
So, last night I (ironically) had a conversation with myself about how I had nothing to say (go ahead and laugh… the amusement is not lost on me).  Then it occurred to me why… usually I do need some sort of therapy… like what’s going with me?  What caused me to go off the rails?  Or even those “everything is going so well… I’m pumped… how much will that mean I can lose by _________?” that I should talk myself down from because my expectations can get out of control.
But this past week I just felt like a normal person.  No highs, no lows, but not a numb feeling either.  I don’t need to talk myself up or down.  I’m just living it, doing it, making progress, but don’t feel too obsessive or manic.  I am even keeled at the moment and it’s quite lovely.
At least I finally figured out something to “talk” about!

One of my other discussions was how although I’ve been doing the moderation thing (each day usually including something that is not typical of foods consumed while trying to lose weight) and achieving some success, I do have goals with time constraints, so it would behoove me to have a few more strict days thrown in there to make some more progress.
I already know there will be 4 tough days this month: Thanksgiving at my sister’s, a turkey (and gravy and stuffing) of our own and 2 days of leftovers.
December brings holiday treats including eggnog (something I always allow at least once), so there will probably be 4 harder days in there too (previous to going to in-laws… EVERY day will be off while eating at their house!  I’ll just deal with repair from that after getting home in the New Year).

So there are some built-in not-so-great, needing moderation and major balancing type days… knowing that, why not make the other days as POP (perfect on plan – 6 Week Body Makeover) as possible?  I mean if I’m having one of those days I’m just not feeling it and I really want to eat a certain something, then fine.  But for those others days?  Why not?  I am mean sometimes I eat things and don’t necessarily feel like them and would have been fine having something POP.

So I have every intention of working out a balance day today because I knew we were going to have a ‘breakfast for dinner’ tonight which meant pancakes (this is one of those meals that isn’t very good for us, but a cheap meal good for our bank account).
I planned to be POP leading up to that so my calories would work out.  Well my hubby sort of messed that up when I came downstairs to realize he was cooking up breakfast already, including the sausage that I was going to make the protein to have with pancakes tonight.  He was also frying up some shredded potatoes he’d bought (not on my plan for breakfast).   I was about 30 minutes short of meeting my 16-hour fast as well, so some stalling was necessary to meet that goal.
So I ignored the potatoes, put aside my allotted 3 sausages and made my own fried egg whites and had 1 piece Ezekiel bread.  Then I went ahead and logged all of the foods I knew I would eat over the course of the day, including the pancakes & eggs I knew I’d have for dinner (the rest of the family now having bacon as their protein).
It is RARE for me to log a day of calories prior to consuming any of them.  But for a day where I know I’m having something that takes up more calories than I usually allot for a meal, it becomes necessary and is extremely helpful (and I had no clue how much of a treat pancakes would or wouldn’t be – turns out not as bad as I thought).

Today has been filled with either tending to the baby or mixing paints and working on some paint projects I’d put off (like painting the underside of the arches in our living room and dining room).  The mixing is because I need to do touch up on the paint I used for the kitchen/eat-in/family room walls except I ran out, had a sample matched, but the matched paint is still too dark, so I’m adding white and testing, letting dry, judging and repeating as necessary.  It’s not there yet.  I’m pretty good at getting colors to match, so it’s only a matter of time.


About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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