Reminders from the Past helping me in my Present

Yesterday was one of those days I wasn’t ‘feeling it’.  I made good choices 95% of the day and drank lots of water and got in a walk, but just kind of felt… numb.  I think I may have been just tired.  After all, by the time I was done pumping last night I only got about 2 hours of sleep before Mavis woke for a feed and then only another 2 hours (that’s being generous) after that before having to wake up for the day.  A combined 4 hours of sleep just doesn’t make for a happy mommy.
But I didn’t even have coffee, or any caffeine yesterday… amazingly.
I had a healthy breakfast and after blogging (and mentioning I’d distracted my way past that feeling of wanting to eat something filling/sweet after breakfast that I commonly get) and it’s like I jinxed myself because I swear the minute I hit “Publish”, that feeling came over me.  (total head trip anyone?)  I did that A LOT to myself during my original 365/50 Project.

A couple days ago I had that feeling and tried to fight against it… eat something healthier than the bowl of sugary cereal I was thinking of.  I ended up eating and eating… so many extra calories (healthy or not, they add up) and STILL it would not satiate me.
So I finally gave in and had the cereal.  Ahh… there, done.  I was totally great after just letting myself have that.

So knowing this recent experience, I just went ahead and let myself have a bowl of Golden Grahams yesterday.
Cool… I’m good… hunger-wise, but I did have a slight bit of guilt for eating that… I’m working on moving on and letting go… utilizing Balance (as Bethenny Frankel would call it in her Naturally Thin book… in rereading my original blog, I was reminded about some of her “rules” and now I’m considering rereading her book after I’m done with my blog).  I need to remember that fulfilling a want in a reasonable manner (and not going nuts for the rest of the day) is totally doable in weight loss and weight maintenance… I just need to be OK with it and truly accept moderation without the head trip.

So I had my cereal and I was good… actually had very low hunger for the entire rest of the day.  I felt blah, but managed a good day.  I took a walk on my own (well, me and Mavis asleep in her stroller) for the very first time since moving to our new neighborhood 1 year and 4 months ago (usually it’s a family walk with all of us).  It was actually the longest walk I’ve done as well seeming the new extension of our neighborhood is now paved and I got to do that plus the whole circle and now I know it’s a 30 min walk all together.

Another positive thing (that I couldn’t really appreciate at the time because of my mood, but I’m happy about it today) is that after dinner when my son asked for a dessert (which unfortunately has become way too frequent and common these days), I thought to offer a healthier option.  Honestly, the choices of actual “naughty” desserts are dwindling… mainly because I finally stopped buying it (for way too long we had chocolate, candy, cookies, popsicles and ice cream as options… oy).  I could tell even my son had nothing in mind realizing the choices are few when he asked.
I offered sliced apples with cinnamon on top.  He was all for it.  When my daughter saw me preparing it, she wanted her own as well… awesome.
So they both enjoyed the apples slices and for the first time in over a year, I made myself a banana chocolate shake.  This is one of those yummy but healthy alternatives I learned while doing the 6-week Body Makeover (uh… 13 years ago!  Wow).  Banana, water, ice, cocoa powder, powdered egg whites and a little Stevia for sweetness.  It’s really good.

Today I have been on track.  More sleep (Mavis went from 10:25 pm to 7:40 am!!!), a breakfast of fried egg whites & homemade oatmeal (mix of steel cut & old fashioned oats with diced apples, cinnamon, Stevia and topped with strawberries & blueberries… my old staple breakfast I was reminded of while reading my original blog again) and I just had a snack of roasted turkey breast and fresh basil with mozzarella & tomato.

You know what?  I’ll take a “numb” day like yesterday where I still make good decisions than a day I’m feeling really down and can’t make a good decision to save my life (I’ve had MANY… yet another thing my original blog reminded me of).


About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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