Then & Now

I’m now up to March 2011 on my original project blog (rereading it).  I really liked the way I did posts back then… practically each had a theme and I’d find, make or draw an image to go along with it… man, did I have time on my hands!   I don’t have time for that now.  But that’s one of those differences between having just a 5-year-old and having 3 kids instead.
But reading what food I was eating, specific exercises, shows I watched, games I played (I forgot how many Family Game Nights hubby and I used to have!) really makes me want to MAKE the time to blog here daily (or close to daily) again, especially for the 365 days of my 365/50 Project reboot starting November 15th.  And once again have ‘a year in the life’ to be able to go back to.

I just finished the week where (for the first time on my project) I purposely didn’t weigh myself.
I think I’m going to do that this week.  I’m relearning even more about myself by rereading my former life and BOY did I have scale issues!  And the sad part was that I thought I’d figured out a healthy relationship with the scale, but in reality, it was the source for many of my down days and I can see that now.
It’d be great if I really knew if I was going to get motivation from whatever the number is, or if it would bum me out, or worse yet, get me feeling like I deserved a “break” because of progress I saw.  Ugh… that last scenario bothers me the most.  I’d see a good weight loss and then feel I deserved a “treat”.  What am I? A dog???
And the fact that sometimes no progress or a gain would have two completely different effects (motivation to do more or get me down & have a bad day) and I never really knew which way I’d react.  Six years later, I STILL have this issue.
Those moments it keeps me in check & inspires me has me going back again and again and not tossing the darn thing.  Sometimes I just *have* to know!
Well, here’s a plus to having a baby… there are countless mornings I’m in a rush to throw some clothes on and go get the baby before the crying escalates.  I don’t even have time to pee some mornings.

Sometimes Mavis is just very impatient and starts crying frantically and other mornings, she’ll coo and talk to herself and wake up slow and relaxed… those days I have a minute to pee, weigh myself, get dressed, actually look at myself in the mirror and maybe fix my hair or apply some moisturizer to my face, get her out of her crib and bring her downstairs, change her, talk back and forth as she smiles at me and then leave her on her changing table (loving this stage when she can’t roll over at all and I can get away with that) as she loves to just stare out the window it’s next to (or Kolby, the 3 year old, will talk and interact with her during that time) and I can have a moment to fix her a bottle and make a cup of tea before finally picking her up off the table and feeding her on the couch.
Today was one of those rushed days.  She just wakes up hungrier than others I guess, so the “desperation level” is on high and it’s all I can do to get that bottle in her mouth ASAP to stop her face from turning beet red.

But once I have her settled and eating, I have my laptop right in front of me on a tv table (sadly no longer my purple laptop as I had 6 years ago, and the replacement one after that, but this 3rd installment is a boring black, but all that was available at the time) and I’ve been rereading my former Project blog as I try to drink down my first 20 oz cup of water.
This is our latest morning ritual.
Afterwards I get her set up on her floor play mat and she chills for a bit, giving me time to go pee, make tea and pump.  Well, pump 1 side anyway.  I rarely get enough play/floor time out of her to do both sides right now.  And sadly, I broke my pump so that I can no longer pump both sides at once (doh!).
When she starts fussing, she either needs a nap or wants to be fed to sleep.
Once finally asleep, I transfer her to the mamaRoo® swing or I’ve set up the couch cushions (with barrier for safety) so she can sleep there (depending on if she needs a different sleeping angle other than the swing like on more gassy days).  And sometimes she sleeps better if she’s not being rocked… I just have to read her mood and go accordingly.
Then I have my hands free to pump the other side and then make breakfast.
Or like today, I had leftover yummy omelet from yesterday, so I reheated it to eat while pumping.
It’s all about multitasking these days.  I RARELY do just one thing at a time.  I just can’t! There aren’t enough hours in the day!
Right now I’m pumping, typing with one hand and taking little breaks to take a bite of my breakfast.  You gotta do watcha gotta do!
Occasionally typing one-handed will be very necessary if I want to succeed in posting daily.

Right now Mavis is sleeping great at night (5.5 – 8 hrs, feed, then 2 – 4 hrs), so lately her daytime naps are these quick 20-40 minutes ones & having 1.5-2.5 hrs awake time in between,  followed by a longer nap around 5pm when she goes for over an hour, then back to the short naps until she finally goes to sleep for the night (anywhere between 9:30-11:30pm).

Well I just got seriously distracted… I took a short break to peruse Facebook while still pumping and there it was, the first trailer for the new 4 part series of new Gilmore Girl episodes on Netflix!!!! WHEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One thing that hasn’t changed in 6 years?  My obsession over all things Gilmore Girls!!!!
I’ve watched that trailer 5 times now and I’m sure I’ll play it a few more times before November 25th finally arrives so I can actually watch the full episodes!  Can’t wait!

What’s great is that I got so distracted by that (plus my mom called) that I completely forgot about food and that gnawing empty feeling I sometimes get after breakfast that has me craving something filling (and usually sweet) that I have a hard time ignoring.  It totally passed.  Yay distraction!  See, some obsessions are positive!

I’m still keeping in mind my goal of losing 4.8 lbs by Nov 15th.  Yesterday didn’t end as well as it began food-wise, but at least we went out for a family walk and I certainly got my fill of water all day.  No way to know how it all evened out seeming it was a no weigh in day.  I think I really should try to avoid the scale until Monday, but I’m still on the fence.

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About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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