Week 11 Weigh-in

Yes, it’s already Sunday and my weigh-in day was last Monday and I’m about to have a new one tomorrow.  I guess I’ve just been too busy living life, eating well, exercising and mainly spending tons of time catching up on my newsfeed from my Facebook fitness community (my daily source of inspiration & motivation).
And with such happy news, normally I would have been typing it out as soon as I stepped off the scale Monday morning, but no.
So here it is:
Week 11 results:  down 11.8 lbs

Now before you get too excited for me, if you’ve been paying attention you’d know I’d been having scale issues and now I have a new one that isn’t lying to me.  Well last week my old scale was “stuck” and even with the calibrated weight (which we figured out with actual math!), I think it might have been off, so bottom line is I think those almost 12 lbs were really a 2 week effort… maybe even 3.
Even still, that’s a fantastic number, I realize.
But I’m not feeling it this week.

Monday’s weight was 297.8 pounds.  I know now that my former scale was screwed up, but do you know how LONG I’ve been starring at the high 290’s??? (or thought I was)??  For this WHOLE YEAR basically.  Ugh.  I now know my old scale was lying by .042 per pound so my start weight I thought was 306.0 was really close to 318.8, but I didn’t get the joy of watching all those numbers go down… so it feels made up or like it didn’t really happen (even though I can now zip up my mini goal jeans & I definitely have lost inches).

Even this almost 12 lb loss… I missed enjoying it as my weigh-in was a number I thought I was for what seems like FOREVER.

So I thought, OK… now that I have a new scale I can trust, I will finally get enjoyment watching those numbers go down.
Not so much.
Not yet.
M – 297.8,
T – 297.6 (oh great, I’ll take a little bit)
W – 299.0 (what?)
T – 299.2 (!)
F – 299.0
S – 298.0 (ok, getting back down)
Today – 298.2 (wtf?)

In fairness, I have WORKED my muscles this week.  I did Turbo Sculpt for the first time in my life on Wednesday, so yes, I could have been retaining water weight as this is part of the process of muscle building.  And let me tell you, I have FELT my muscles every day since – even still today.
BUT I just noticed my biggest weight gain was ON Wednesday – before the weight training.

I really don’t know what is going on.  For all the effort I am putting in (and based on past personal experience), the weight should be FALLING OFF ME.
But you lost 12 lbs last week!  But it doesn’t feel that way and what about this past week?  Why the brakes & backward slide?
For once I didn’t “reward” myself and have “cheat days” (gawd I hate that expression… I don’t believe in cheats).  I have been pushing on and pushing strong because I was determined to move this new scale and so far, I’ve failed to do that.

Is this all because I’m strength training every day?  Just a little bit from my perspective – some work with exercise bands (back, bicep & tricep), squats (30-40), lunges (10 each side)…  the Turbo Sculpt was by far, the MOST weight training I’ve done this journey (43 mins & I was holding 5 lb weights for almost the whole time).
Is this a muscle building week?  Is that how it works?

I really don’t know as in most of my other weight loss journeys, it was all about cardio.  When I read stories about how some people chose to lose weight via lifting only, no cardio, and they lost 100 lbs I was very motivated to PUMP IT UP!  Or at least not exclude strength training until I was a smaller weight.  After all, muscle burns way more calories than fat, so literally sitting on my ass can burn me calories with building good muscles.
So where is my miracle calorie burning?

I’m eating the most healthy/consistent than I have in years.  I eat frequently.  I’m not hungry.
I keep thinking maybe I’m not eating enough, but I keep remembering back to the 6 week Body Makeover and how little calories I was taking in and based on that (which I found out years later by entering a sample day into Sparkpeople), my body should have shut down and gone into starvation mode, but it didn’t – instead I lost 90 lbs in 10 months!  I’m technically eating more than those days, but yet under what the experts say should be my target range based on my current size.
Maybe all the strength training extras have made the calorie gap too much?  But if you create a large calorie deficit, shouldn’t that equal pounds gone???
See, my head is spinning over this.

I’m in deep “trust the process” mode right now.

Yeah, yeah... I know.

Yeah, yeah… I know.

I’m keeping at it because there is just no way I can keep this fat body with all the healthy food I put in it and all the exercise I’m getting.  No way.  It HAS to change.

What is helping me is that although I really haven’t lost weight this week, I had measured myself last Saturday and I measured again yesterday and I was down 2.5 inches.  I will have to trust that even though it’s by far, not as satisfying (I can admit that).  Something is working… sort of.  It’s just CRAZY to me that someone MY SIZE so close to 300 pounds wouldn’t be dropping weight at the same time.  I know the scale isn’t everything, but I’m so big, it should be moving goddamnit.   It’s not like I’m 30 lbs from my goal weight… then I wouldn’t careless because it would make more sense.

Anyway… bottom line is that I’m going to keep on keeping on because (and this has taken weeks of repeating it in my head over and over) quitting will only prolong how long it will take me to get to my goal.  There’s just no sense in it.  If I stop, that means I’ll have to start over… again.  And I don’t want to ever do that again.

So I just had to whine somewhere… maybe next week will be different?

(And please don’t tell me to get off the scale… it is my way of curbing my expectations.  Can you imagine if I hadn’t stepped on it all week after busting my ass to see that I’d had a gain??? My head would have exploded.  Getting it daily helps me, motivates me though it confuses me)


About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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