Let me preface this by saying that I love my sister. I’m so grateful her suicide attempt many years ago failed and that I got to know her and that she is with us today and that yes, she does offer positive things and is a wonderful, awesome person.
The more positive frame of mind I get, the more I realize how so many things out of her mouth are negative, especially when it comes to health and finances.
She’s had a tough life, I’m not going to deny her that and I can’t for one minute realize the pain and other mental issues she has to deal with on a daily basis. That being said…
Mentioning that your genetics, lack of thyroid, blood sugars being out of whack due to diabetes and having four auto-immune diseases repeatedly as the reasons you can’t lose weight… yes, some of those factors are legitimate reasons and can make it feel damn near impossible, but does it help to say it again and again?
Where’s the positive spirit to better control all those things and come from a place of yes to discovering what works for your body and not to just throw your hands up and give in or once again play the blame game listing all your illnesses?
Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? If you say over and over to yourself & others that you can’t do anything about your weight (for whatever reason), then guess what? You probably won’t, regardless of the factors you had working against you.
I used to say “I always mess my eating up on the weekend” and guess what? I did. Every damn weekend I’d find myself eating things off plan and not exercising and undoing all the good I did all week, making my statement true. It wasn’t until I realized the repetitive negative thinking and stopped repeating that to myself and others that I finally broke through and now weekends are like any other day for me… not the impossible feat they used to feel like, all because I changed my thinking about them.
Saying that something ALWAYS goes wrong when you get an influx of money and therefore you have to spend it or that when you decide to make a big purchase, that when you do, something else will break and need fixing therefore costing money is just sending out negativity so in return, shit seems to happen to make it true (and you miss the times it wasn’t true because you’re focusing on the bad examples).
The universe is listening. But more importantly, your subconscious is listening.
I have personally done this experiment a few times (and there are a ton of books out on this) – when you respect your money (paying bills on time, sticking to budgets & keeping track of everything), more money will be in your life & come into your life. It helps even more if you are positive and have a welcome environment for the money (a clean desk, orderly bookkeeping, etc.).
If you don’t respect it and build a wall of negativity concerning it (like repeating “every time we get any extra money, something always breaks”), your paycheck to paycheck and debt increasing existence will probably remain the same or get worse.
That may all seem like new-agey wishful thinking crap to some people, but dammit, it can’t hurt to have a more positive outlook… about anything!
If someone repeats every day that they will be successful (at whatever), don’t you think their chances of having the confidence to make the right choices and getting there are a hell of a lot higher than someone who looks in the mirror and call themselves a loser every day?
A happier life means dropping the “I can’t”s and the excuses (legitimate or not) and to stop focusing on what has gone wrong in order to welcome what can go right.
I myself have been struggling a bit with this. One minute I’m on high and ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE and I want to shout it from the rooftop. Then the next day (maybe after talking to someone who isn’t so positive about life), the doubt sets in or my past failures rear their ugly heads and remind me that no, it’s not possible, quit dreaming. Ugh.
It can be hard to think positively, especially if you’re prone to thinking a bit negatively or a have past that backs up your negative self-thoughts.
But they are only going to continue to be self-fulfilling prophecies if you keep repeating the negative thoughts.
Get control of your thinking. Fill yourself with positive affirmations and really mean it.
Some people can cut out the sources of negativity in their life. Unfortunately I cannot do that as we are talking about my sister and we have a good relationship. I am bombarded by negative thoughts on a weekly basis as we meet for a walk. I need to learn to listen, but not really take in her sometimes not-so-positive outlooks or opinions (and to clarify, she’s talking about herself, not me – I’m just really too empathetic for my own good sometimes).
Ah ha! There’s something I should STOP repeating! “I’m too empathetic for my own good” – ok, I will no longer ever say (or type) this again. Her issues are not my issues. I can put up a wall blocking my emotions from others’. I do not have to take on others’ negative feelings. I can maintain a positive outlook and stay my course.
My latest mantras are “body… let go of the fat, we don’t need it anymore” and “muscle protects me more than fat”.
Do you have a negative Nancy in your life? Are YOU the negative Nancy? (My apologizes to those named Nancy by the way… I didn’t make up the saying!) Challenge your thinking and pay attention to what you tell yourself on a daily basis (or what you tell others). I guarantee you there is a repetitive negative thought in there somewhere and it’s time to take control and stop it!