Confessions from a Flustered Mommy

OK, this mommy is going to be blunt & honest about something… my baby drives me nuts sometimes.
I have noticed over the last few months that our almost 14 month old has good days or really, really bad days.  On the “good” days she’s in a wonderful mood, has awesome independent play, likes interaction from mommy/brother/daddy but doesn’t require it and only comes to me to share a toy (and immediately go back to playing), or when she truly has a need – hungry, thirsty, needs a diaper change or time for nap. On these days she tends to sleep more (a cruel joke to momma because I wouldn’t mind her being awake more on days like that, yet when she’s cranky she takes the shorter naps… ugh).

Then we have the bad days… she wakes up clingy, doesn’t want to be put down.  She’ll be fed, napped, freshly changed, drink offered and a show is on and she just sits there (in my lap/arms) and cries and whines.  I try to get her active on the floor with her toys and the second I attempt to walk away (cause you know, mommy has to pee or eat sometimes) she immediately notices I’m not there, starts to cry and comes and finds me.   If I had plans to actually be productive and get something done that day, I’m screwed and may as well fold in the towel.
I feel badly for her that something could be going on that makes her so miserable and I can’t imagine what is wrong.  I mean if it were teething, wouldn’t it be a few tough days and then better for few like before?  I just don’t know what is going on with her physically/mentally/emotionally when she gets like this.  I even give her some Tylenol just in case it is physical pain, but there’s never been a noticeable improvement afterwards.
Right now it’s just about every other day… or she’ll wake up and have a fantastic morning, then after her nap (which was plenty sufficient) she is a mess and just so upset (and as far as we can ever tell, her nap was totally usual).
Hubby & I have been scratching our heads over the ‘waking up in a horrible mood after napping’ situation and that’s been happening for even longer (since she was 9 months old maybe?).  We don’t get it.
Is this just life with girls?  Could it be that simple?  Can I shoot myself now?

I am jealous of moms who get to go to work every day and get a break… and it is a break (I’m speaking from experience here) – a time for adult thoughts, adult conversations and even some SILENCE.  Maybe my son was moody during the day at this age, but I didn’t know it because he was at daycare and when I picked him up, he’d be happy to see me, we’d go home, get some quality mommy/son playing, have dinner, bath and bedtime and all seemed well.

So as you can imagine, dealing with a moody baby does play into this momma’s mission to lose some weight.  On her needy days I can’t get anything done (dishes, vacuuming, clean up, laundry, etc) as she is BY MY SIDE or in my arms all day.  This messes with MY day… I feel better about myself when I accomplish things and therefore tend to make better choices in general as far as my health.  But when she’s in a mood, I tend to have to do a lot of sitting which makes me feel fat & lazy (physically, mentally & emotionally)… sitting on the couch with her, sitting on the floor play trying to engage her with toys, sitting on the floor or in a chair reading her a book.  And any activity involving me standing means I’m holding her and that kills my arms after a while.
Even going outside in the backyard backfires and she ends up in my arms and she doesn’t like walks in the stroller because she can’t see me and she is generally annoyed and squirmy.
And when you have a needy, whiny baby crying at you while pulling on your pants,

This is a familiar sight.

This is a familiar sight.

squeezing herself between your legs and the kitchen cabinet while you attempt to cut up fresh veggies for a healthy dinner, it’s hard not to say “fuck it” and stop, pick her up and go to my computer to order a pizza instead.  Hell, my “fuck it” mood starts back at lunch most days because it’s hard to even get that accomplished.  Her bad mood puts ME in a bad mood (though I don’t show that to her… I’m constantly trying to make her smile/laugh because I don’t like to see her so damn miserable, but it’s TOUGH work – she never was the most smiley baby & makes us work for it).
There have been multiple days over the past year where her mood and temperament decided what dinner was because I just couldn’t take it.
But I stayed strong yesterday and it’s been 15 days since we’ve ordered out… a record for this past year for sure.
Here it is, just past 8:50am (that’s sleeping in for her) and so usually this means we’re going to have a good day or at least a good morning/before nap time.  This is a good thing because I need a happy day to ensure I’ll have the energy (more mental than physical) to manage grocery shopping tonight for the whole week just so I don’t have to deal with the crowds of Saturday shopping.

About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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