Other Freak-Out Factors of being Fat

Even though I’ve been open lately about my weight and size, I’ve been neglecting some other factors about how I’m feeling.
It is hard being bigger. (duh, right?)  No really, it is…  seats & chairs are far more uncomfortable, it is that much harder to get out of a seat when you’ve been sitting a long time, my back & hips have been punishing me for my girth (waking up with aches and pains) and there are times I stand up after sitting and I can’t stand up straight!!!  It seriously takes me a couple minutes to eventually work up to standing up straight – I kind of am slightly bent over and my butt feels like it’s sticking out (like an elderly person).  Holy crap.
I can’t tell you how scary that is to me.
I think that’s how my mother-in-law started out (which lead to NEVER standing up straight again and becoming basically immobile).  In fact, I’ve never seen the woman stand up straight in the 15 years I’ve known her and she was still walking and not utilizing any help (canes, lifts, scooter) when I met her.
I would guesstimate (based on some pictures) that she probably hasn’t been able to stand up straight since she was about 46 years old.  If I’m having similar issues at 36, I am in BIG TROUBLE.  That means that if I keep eating the way I do and not getting enough exercise and not losing weight, that I could be immobile in a scooter at 50 years old.  OH GOD, NOT COOL.

My future is staring at me in my MIL… and now since she has lost 75 lbs and plans to continue on (her first major weight loss since I’ve known her), I’m happy for her and love that there is another ‘it’s never too late’ story out there, but I DON’T WANT THAT TO BE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is already too late for me as far as I’m concerned… meaning I should have dealt with and conquered this shit 10 years ago.  It certainly would make parenting a now very active (and walking!) baby girl a lot easier.
But I betrayed my body and now my body is betraying me… all’s fair.
I have to do right by my body, myself.  I deserve a better future and so do my kids.


About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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6 Responses to Other Freak-Out Factors of being Fat

  1. I’ve been trying to get a comment in all day and just can’t seem to find the time. But here goes. Making lifestyle changes is HARD and my experience (as well as research) tells me that you have to go one step at a time. Integrate one small change at a time. I think that eating celery instead of any other snack you can think of while you are cooking (as you mentioned in your previous post) is a very good idea. Also, food-wise, I don’t know if I’ve already linked you to it, but I wrote a guest post on smart snacking a few weeks ago. Here it is: http://atlantamomofthree.wordpress.com/?s=smart+snacking (by the way, I know it sounds counter-intuitive to eat more, but it really does work).

    If you’re looking for some external motivation (I know I’m the kind of person who needs some), you can look into SparkPeople or Superbetter (https://www.superbetter.com/). You can also try the 30 day challenge to instigate a new change in your life.

    I would also suggest setting (as in writing down) some short-term, medium-term and long term goals. The key to a good goal is that it has to be “S.M.A.R.T” (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound).

    Lastly, I want to wish you all the luck in the world. You seem to be set on wanting to become healthier/losing weight and I’m sure that you will find a way. Please, don’t think that it’s too late, it’s never too late. Know that I’m rooting for you from over here.

    Go! Go! Go!

    • gwenacious says:

      I’ve been a member on Sparkpeople since 2004 🙂 I just made a chart for myself for the next 6 weeks to mark off healthy eating & exercise and hung it in my kitchen. And when I said it was too late, I didn’t mean too late to try (NEVER!), I meant I’m about 10 years too late/behind and wish I was only 26 and starting this journey again.
      Thanks for all your suggestions!

      • It’s great that you are on Sparkpeople! I’m not on; the last time I tried, I couldn’t subscribe because I was still nursing, but I think I’ll go ahead and sign up in the next few days.

        Good to know you didn’t mean it was too late to try, guess I misunderstood ;).

        You’re welcome and hang in there!

  2. tlf says:

    Gwen sweetie, I feel for you. I too have back-slided horribly over the past month or two, and put 10 lbs back on my already too plump body. Look, at least your admitting the fact that you need to do something, and it’s never too late until you’re in a pine box.

    What mommytrainingwheels said is right…take small steps. If you look at the big picture, you’re likely to go insane. But, if you change one small thing, and stick to that one small thing for say, 2 weeks, you might notice a difference, and then get motivated to change 2 small things.

    Now you’ve motivated ME! I’m going out for a walk.

    • gwenacious says:

      Yay – see that’s why I share this shit – if not for myself, then to help maybe motivate someone else or at the very least, let them know someone is in the same boat as them. Thank you for saying that. 🙂 Hope you enjoyed your walk.

      • tlf says:

        I did! but then I came home and put on some pants that are way too tight…and didn’t used to be. Meh.

        Maybe I’ll walk again this afternoon…

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