Realization

I know I’ve shared on more than one occasion that one of my main motivating factors to lose weight and get healthier is my mother-in-law.  She pretty much wraps up all the “scary” parts about growing old fat for me – can’t fully stand up or walk unassisted (uses not 1, but 2 canes for short distances within her house), rides around in a scooter permanently, has handicapped sticker because of said scooter, requires one of those automatic chairs to lift her up the stairs in her home and is basically couch-bound all day.
Besides having her legs/knees not withstand her weight anymore, she’s one of those lucky/healthy fat people – no high cholesterol, no diabetes, no high blood pressure – nothing.  Even her doctor had to admit to her in her last check-up that she was a “healthy fat person”.
I’m not so lucky.  I’ve been pre-diabetic for years and since I take after my father’s side of the gene pool, I can look forward to high cholesterol as well – even on a decent diet.
So I have even MORE reasons to get healthy (factors my mother-in-law never had).

fat lady butt in chair

My nightmare & motivation

Anyway, I’ve also shared this picture before.  As far as I know, this is not an actual picture of my MIL, however it seriously could be her circa anytime in the last decade.  This has been a motivation picture for me for a while since I randomly found it on Google images.

Well after my recent visit to my in-laws, some things have caught me off guard and made me realize a few things.
For one, I had a nice long talk with my MIL (rare) and she told me she’d lost 75 lbs and was planning to keep losing more after the holidays!  Totally awesome for her, but that was Shocker #1.
Shocker #2 – SHE was giving ME diet tips!
Shocker #3 – I used one of those diet tips tonight! (eating celery if you are hungry while making dinner)
And worst of all to me…
Looking at her and seeing a little bit of the weight loss (let’s be honest, in a person over 400 lbs it is hard to see a 75 lb loss – especially when you only see them in a sitting position) and the amount of space her ass took up on her couch cushion, I realized that my fat ass (largest ever for me which I fully admitted here) seemed to be taking up the same acreage.
Even with my 5X ass, I never saw myself ever coming close to the same ass size of my MIL… NEVER!
Yet honestly, it occurred to me that in my own version (because it would never quite be the same because I’m about 5 inches taller than her) I do have her ass at the moment.

I even asked my hubby (I’ve been very honest with him lately about how horrified I am I’ve let myself get so fat and that I’m the largest size I’ve ever been) – “do I have the same size ass as your mother?”  Of course he said no, but I don’t completely believe him.
I truly think I’m DAMN CLOSE.

This is me.

This is me.

And here’s my proof.
This is my ass in a chair that is of similar size to a standard folding chair.
I’m there people… nightmare realized.

It was after I took this pic earlier today and really looked at it that I had the celery for a snack.  If my freaking MIL who sits on her ass all day and barely drinks any liquid can lose 75 pounds, than surely I can too.

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About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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