Honesty

I’m half-assing it for my weight loss efforts.  My “small steps” are too small for any real progress and I’m treading water while expecting to walk on it (per usual).  Now that I’m better with water consumption and my baby is allowing me some more time to get things done, I have to get serious with my food.  I need a) consistent better choices and b) smaller portions… like a LOT smaller.
There has also been a recent big change that is the final nail in the coffin of no more excuses:  It’s official… breastfeeding is over (baby weaned herself actually!).  This has been a big issue for me because of the restrictions because of my baby’s sensitive tummy.
Honestly I’m fighting the old mindset more than I thought I would.  I’m still catching myself thinking that whatever I eat, it might affect my baby… “oh I can’t eat that or she’ll be gassy…”  Nope, not anymore.  I guess 10 months of doing that is a tough mindset to break.  I just don’t feel as “free” to eat what I want like I thought I would when it was over.  I don’t think it has sunk in and I’m trying to let it.

So other than being able to eat whatever I choose (well, except eggs unfortunately – apparently they bother me now), I’m also no longer automatically burning that extra 500 calories breastfeeding provided.  I have to actually exercise for that calorie burn now.  Shucks.

My food choices for actual meals aren’t bad, it’s the dessert or sweet snack items that are out of control.  There was a lot of leftover Halloween candy and snacky items from our long car trip late last month.

I have a horrible diet mentality I developed over 10 years ago that is hard for me to shake and that is to eat up everything “naughty” in my kitchen so that it is no longer there and no longer a choice and I can “really start”.  Problem is that leads to overeating unhealthy items and then even worse, I find myself buying MORE of certain items at the grocery store and bringing them back into my kitchen, starting the process once again of “I need to finish that first”.
No more darn it!  The pattern must stop here.

Halloween candy:  gone (except my son’s but that’s his and I can actually ignore it)
Ben & Jerry’s:  gone – now don’t buy more!
All that is left is sugar free Jell-O and some chocolate covered almonds.  I need to just utilize moderation once again to have those.

I’m fully capable of moderation with some items, but completely incapable with others.  Those “others” need to be out of my house while I’m in this stage of starting over and building healthier habits and attempting to break the bad ones.

Tomorrow is a new day.

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About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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