Thinking Ahead

Slowly but surely I am making my way back to me.  My life has been so consumed with baby that I didn’t have any “me” time at all unless it involved some sort of chore.  Finally my little girl is at a slightly more independent stage and a bit less needy as well (though stranger anxiety is in full effect).  She also now wants her daddy as much as her mommy, so it is far easier to leave her with him so I can get something done (something that would have elicited screams of dismay just a month ago).
In addition to finally starting healthier eating and drinking more water on a regular basis again, I’m fitting in painting, computer games, organizing and here I am blogging while my baby is awake! (At least when I started writing this.)
When I say computer games I’m specially referring to Dr. Mario (I’ve been so done with Facebook games for over a year now).  It’s the old school version hubby found (along with Tetris) and put it on my laptop for me – fun!  I can play one handed while breastfeeding.

I’ve been so much happier for the last few weeks since these changes have occurred.  Twice now I’ve gone grocery shopping by myself while hubby is home to watch the kids (something that wasn’t my most favorite thing to do before) and I’m loving the “me” time then too… getting to crank my tunes and sing in the car as well as making better choices and spending less at the store than if my family was with me.
I’m feeling more in control again.
I’ve only gone down about 5 pounds so far, but that’s a start and amazingly has nothing to do with my better mood.
I even find myself ready for the holidays (in spirit, not financially) and was whistling Christmas songs this evening.  This was probably brought on by the Baby Einstein playlist on Youtube I play for my daughter and that happens to have the Baby Santa video with holiday music playing.  Plus I was baking cookies which happens rarely and usually around the holidays.
I’m also ready for cooler temps.  I complained all summer about all the rain, but it’s gone and it is 90 degrees now and I’m done.  Bring on the need for long pants and sweatshirts.  I’m looking forward to building in some regular exercise by taking baby K out in the jogging stroller every day.  It’s just too damn hot for that right now.
Personally I just love the fall and look forward to it in general.  I’m ready to decorate with mums and pumpkins and Halloween décor.
I’m dying to re-organize my garage again (something it HAS to be cooler for).  Yes, organizing makes me happy.
With my art project I am finally decorating my family room in colors I like (I’ve been staring at this rug I got 4 years ago because 1) it was affordable and 2) it was the only set available with a big & small rug and the matching runner – all of which I needed in hopes to protect the practically white wall-to-wall carpeting in this rental home).  It is red, gold and green with a blue so dark it can almost pass as black.  I’m more of a cool tones person… bring on the lighter blues & greens and purples please.
So I made the brilliant decision to swap the rug from the living room (which I’ve had for years and LOVE) and put this rug I’m not fond of in there (I rarely go in the living room these days as K’s playroom is in the family room).
I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to do this sooner. Anyway, so now I need my art to match and I’m stealing the frame & glass of some wall décor that someone else had purchased for me years ago, but personally I was done with it and have been wanting a change.  I can’t express how happy these little changes have made me and affected my general mood for the better.
Plus there now gets to be prettier background colors in my photos of K as I’m usually snapping her pictures in that room and seeing those reds and golds behind her was getting on my nerves.  All of my son’s pictures from that age were at our old house that we were free to paint & decorate as we please and his background colors were silver, blue, purple and other pastel colors… so baby and looked great with his gender neutral baby clothes.
All of my baby girl’s pinks just don’t jive with rusty red.  All well, better pics from here on out.

My only bad news to report is that my sweet kitty of 16 years passed away a couple weeks ago.  It was tough and I can start crying at any moment I start thinking about him, but I’ve chose to move on and honor him the best I can (my son requested a t-shirt with a picture of him on it to remember him by, to which I obliged) and I take solace in the fact that he lived a long life and went rather quickly… so quickly that taking him to the vet wasn’t even an option (it was evident on Sunday he was going and by Monday at 7am he was gone… I thank him for that).

I am looking forward to walks on crisp mornings, the AC being off, the smell of soup cooking, falling leaves, pumpkins, corn mazes and mostly, returning to feeling like myself – getting regular sleep, expressing my creative side and having more ability to actually accomplish some things.


About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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