So a couple of days ago I’d mentioned I was rereading my 365/100 Project blog (Nov2010-Nov2011) and was inspiring myself like I was reading it for the first time and almost like it was someone else’s life. It kind of was someone else… a different me.
So much has happened since then. As I read I feel up when she is up, down when she gets down… reliving the emotional roller coaster and there she was wishing she had a working crystal ball and here I sit, her future and I wish I could tell her it will all be ok…at least for some of the fears and worries she had.
I have to laugh at my unrealistic tendencies when it came to my weight loss goals. Just because I had one really good week I’d suddenly expect to be able to do that for every remaining week. There was actually a time I needed to lose over 3 lbs per week to reach my 100 lb weight loss goal by the end of the year and thought I still could! Hah! Silly unrealistic hopeful girl.
And then even after I lessened my goal to a 50 lb loss I got so psyched out by my deadline I completely sabotaged myself.
Truth be known, had I accomplished losing all 100 lbs in that year, it probably wouldn’t have been in the most sustainable way. I’d bet anything I’d still be here, not 100 lbs down, but I’m so glad that I didn’t lose 100 and gain back 50… that I’ve just taken much longer to achieve and sustain an almost 50 lb loss instead… it’s so much more meaningful and makes better sense to me.
Nothing is worse than the total head trip regaining a majority (if not all) the weight you’d recently lost. Trust me, I’ve been there… losing 90 lbs and gaining back 94 lbs and what turned out to be gaining 123 lbs total in the end. Certainly it is healthier for me to be at this bigger weight but sustaining weight losses as I go… never more than a 9 lb gain at any time. It’s finally more important to me to maintain instead of lose, even when I have 75 lbs minimum I still want to burn off.
I am really pleased that I’m almost 50 lbs down 2 years later and that I had a baby in the midst of that as well. I don’t consider that shabby at all.
Something that brings me great joy was when I wrote about my fears of not achieving my dreams – one of which was to have another child – and now here I am with a beautiful 6 week old baby girl. I was also worried about having to move and of our financial security.
Well I never should have bothered packing up our family photos… here it is 2 years later and we’re still in the same rental house. I even finally dared paint a couple rooms… something I didn’t think I’d do. Our office turned into a nursery and there is pink all over. 🙂
Also, things are so much more stable and going really well for my hubby’s job. He’s kicking ass and taking names. Just recently he got a bonus and he was the only one in his department to do so. We thought at first we’d have to keep this to ourselves, but surprise, surprise they actually announced it and all of his co-workers know!
He’s also now recognized as a SME (subject matter expert) and it is currently being discussed that he will be a more official lead position for the team in the near future (he’s been unofficially acting as such for a while now anyway).
So things are really looking good as far as his job goes and although things are still tight financially, this past year was a big help seeming most of it involved a lot of overtime and hubby brought in extra money for what was the majority of the year. After the 1st he calculated his earnings and found out he made so much extra money it was the equivalent of getting a 25% raise!!!
I’d love to repeat that this year because we could really use it with all the medical bills from the pregnancy and delivery, but OT is never guaranteed. Yet things are still looking up.
I’m certainly a lot more hopeful for our future compared to where I was. I’m also happier. I’d forgotten how moody I was… snapping at my son Gavin or poor hubby. That hasn’t happened in over a year. I barely remember being that way, yet I have been completely aware that we are all happier in general… hubby is over the moon becoming a daddy again (and getting his little girl) not to mention feeling fully appreciated and fulfilled at his job, Gavin is a proud big brother and doing so much better in school this year and I… I get a happier hubby & son which make my life happier and easier and I’m in love with my new little girl. Even my pregnancy was more enjoyable compared to last… because hubby is happier in his life, he totally spoiled me and doted on me and was just about the most helpful, considerate husband any wife could ask for. I was afraid this would go away after baby was born, but to my pleasant surprise, it hasn’t.
He is really loving his life right now too… always announcing “I love my family” and taking moments to hug us and smile. How awesome is that?
Even his co-workers are jealous of his life… most have failed or failing relationships, aren’t as successful at their jobs and they are even jealous every time hubby reheats the food he packed for lunch from a previous night’s dinner and how good it smells because apparently their wives don’t cook and they always have a cold lunch or order out.
I’m not even the best cook or really enjoy it that much, so that tidbit cracks me up because there they are thinking I’m this great cook or something! These will be the most basic of dinners (meat, potatoes) and these guys are impressed… sad!
It just makes us both smile and be even more appreciative for our lives and our relationship.
Now if I could just get my baby girl to get to sleep before midnight and get at least 6 hours of sleep at night, I’d be the happiest girl on the planet.
On the flipside, things haven’t been going so good eating/exercise-wise… more on that later when I’m not losing opportunity to sleep now that the baby is finally down (it’s just about 2am now).