I’ve been a walking cliché these past few days… eating up all the goodies and “naughty” food items in the house (chocolates, caramel corn, and cookies… oh the cookies… mostly self-inflicted rather than just gifts) and ordering out for pizza “one last time” – all in anticipation for starting fresh with the new year and getting back on the weight loss train… like millions of others with the same thought with a New Year’s resolution to lose weight and get healthy. Just the fact that I’m posting and starting a challenge today of all days just hurts my creative soul.
These actions are so not “me”… at least not the me I’ve been for the past few years.
I think being a new mom again and being in a constant state of overtiredness has made my resolve weaker than it has been in years.
Usually holidays come and go and I just ignore them food-wise. I treat them like any other day. I don’t see the point to indulge and go nuts and regret it later or make up for it later. I can usually make it through being able to maintain my weight at the very least.
Not this year! It is especially worse because I’m breastfeeding which can naturally help with weight loss by burning an extra 500 calories a day and yet I’ve managed to gain weight the past few weeks.
I’m doing exactly what I promised myself I wouldn’t do this time after a great postpartum weight loss… gain it all back.
Luckily I haven’t gone as far as to gain back to my conception weight, but I’m not far off. From where my postpartum weight loss stopped, I’ve gained back 9 lbs which is still 7 lbs under my conception weight. I’ll have a more “official” weigh-in after I finally get to sleep tonight (when my 5 week old decides to finally sleep) and hopefully I’ll get the chance to weigh myself before I eat breakfast later this morning (I started writing this just after midnight, but my new baby girl has been occupying my time since then and now it’s 2am).
I vowed I wouldn’t do this… wouldn’t let that extra automatic calorie burn go to my head and start eating like a pig…
At first I didn’t and what happened? I was starving ALL THE TIME! Never in my life have I been that ravenous. I was eating relatively healthy food and nothing sustained me for over a couple hours unless it was more calorie laden (like having pizza or Ben & Jerry’s ice cream).
Needing to prepare a snack and eat so often is just too cumbersome when you’re the only adult “on duty” for an infant who has moments of either being fed or wanting to be held and it isn’t always the easiest thing to tend to yourself when you are tending to them. I’m lucky I can steal away a moment to go to the bathroom sometimes!
So because of that, I found myself automatically grabbing foods that had no prep time and could be eaten one handed. What falls under that category? Potato chips of course!
I’ve tried eating a Greek yogurt or a banana one-handed… it just doesn’t work well. And after my hubby’s vacation time was up for helping out with me and the baby, I didn’t have a person there to spoon feed me while I nursed (yes, my awesome hubby did that for me).
I found that hunger came on suddenly… like one minute I feel fine and the next I’m starving and NEED FOOD NOW! Naturally this lent itself to having snacky no-prep items that unfortunately aren’t the healthiest in the world.
So since finding the time to eat was so cumbersome, I’d try eating more and after eating a higher calorie meal I’d notice how much longer it sustained me. Normally after a healthier dinner and maybe even a small dessert, I found myself starving by 3am and I would eat within an hour of getting to sleep!
Sleep is precious these days and I can’t get to sleep or stay asleep if I feel hungry, so the need to eat was once more cutting into my schedule a little too much.
So guess what I did? I started eating more so that I could go the night without needing to eat and going longer between meals.
Yeah, that worked great except that apparently I got a little too carried away and gained some pounds (a far cry from my first few weeks when I was starving all the time, ate like a horse and was losing 1-2 lbs a day!)
I can’t even manage the chance to weigh myself every day (there hasn’t been a “first thing in the morning” time availability for weeks). First thing in the morning for me could be just after only 2 hours of sleep… the baby cries through the monitor and like a firefighter I’m up and slinging my pants on (I just sleep in my button front nursing shirts) and rush to her aid… there’s no time to go pee first and weigh myself. My poor baby would be screaming her head off if I took that time which would make her too upset to nurse and I’d have to calm her before being able to feed her… not worth it for me or for her. So unfortunately days would go by without a weigh-in and wouldn’t you know it, suddenly there are 9 more pounds starring back at me on the scale. Doh.
Once I’d seen the gain it was just days away from New Year’s… so why not finish with a bang, right? Geez. I can’t tell you how many cookies I had today… er… yesterday now technically. Not good!
I want to be done with it all… I got out of control, was a total cliché and now I want to get back to the girl I know I can be and achieved over the last few years of successful health, well-being, fitness and weight loss.
Obviously I can’t go nuts with calorie slashing or anything, after all I’m still breastfeeding and will be for at least the next 5 months or so, but that doesn’t mean I can’t eat more healthy and manage one pound a week weight loss. “Diet” is a four letter word anyway and I’m more inclined to utilize moderation… it’s the only sustainable way to go.
So here it is the first of the year and I might as well start my 52 lbs in 52 weeks challenge (worked out anyway because now I’m finally more comfortably healed from my C-section).
Part of this challenge will also be me bringing back my miles challenges. Last year at this time (and all the way until I got pregnant and became too sick in my first trimester) I had a monthly walking/jogging/running miles challenge for myself. I would set a number of miles and work all month to achieve and surpass it. I’d start off with a goal of 15 miles, then 20, then 30 and the next thing I know I was setting goals for 40 miles or more and achieving it.
I couldn’t exercise while pregnant (too much associated pain/soreness) so it’s been 9 months since I exercised.
I did take a walk with my newborn a couple of weeks ago, but apparently I wasn’t healed enough. I was walking slowly and still at around 1 mile, the soreness and pain got worse and I was still on pain killers.
I’ve been off medication for about a week now. At first I’d just get soreness at night, but feel fine by morning and now I’m not really feeling that soreness anymore, so I think I’m more ready to get going.
I do need to start slow though seeming it’s been so long since I exercised, my muscles feel deteriorated and because of the fact that technically I’m still healing from major surgery internally.
So my first miles challenge for January will be 10 miles. I should be able to manage that. It seems like so little to me compared to what I’ve achieved, but when I struggle to get 5 combined hours of sleep at night and usually live on less, I may find it hard to use what could be nap time during the day to go walking instead. I’m hoping baby & I can manage a more normal, less nocturnal schedule as the weeks go by. I can hope.
I’ll just have to take advantage of the “good days” and get in more than a mile to make up for the not-so-good ones.
In other news, I FINALLY bought a juicer! I’ve wanted one for a while and had my mind set on a certain one that was a big financial commitment I wasn’t willing/able to make, so I held off. I’m glad I did. Upon my second juicer researching spree I discovered that a completely different kind of juicer (masticating instead of centrifugal) was better suited to my needs and found it for hundreds less than I thought I’d have to spend!
I’m very excited to get started with it. I’d love to attempt a juicing fast like in the ‘Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead’ documentary (which I highly recommend watching – very inspirational) but I’m pretty sure that’s a no-no for a breastfeeding mama. But that won’t stop me from having 2 or more glasses of juice a day to help me get in more greens… which I’m sorely lacking even more than usual these days and at a time in my life I should be having them the most.
It hasn’t arrived yet and I need time to go find and print recipes for free instead of buying a juicer recipe book. I’m on the hunt for a *good tasting* green drink. I may love the usual recipe – I have no idea seeming I’ve never tried it ever in my life. But I’m not so picky – it’s my hubby and son I want to convince to have a green drink once a day (they are more in need of some leafy greens than I am!)
So I need something I can get past my two picky eaters. We’ll see… I’m up to the challenge.
So this could be an interesting year… losing a pound a week, juicing daily (and probably feeling more healthy from the inside out because of it), walking, looking after (and eventually chasing after) my beautiful growing baby girl and hopefully slowly shrinking into the old smaller sized clothes I have waiting for me in my closet.
It should be a good year… interesting at the very least.