Results, Setbacks & Baby Steps

After 2 full weeks on my eating “experiment” and I’m down 8.8 lbs.  This is certainly not record breaking by any means, but well actually, it is to me.  My best 2 week loss on my journey was maybe 6 lbs at best.  And even though this was only “week 2”, it’s really not… it’s week 71 to me.  Being on my 71st week of changing my body and my life, losing 8.8 lbs in a couple weeks feels like so much more of an accomplishment, so I need to keep that in mind and remember perspective.
Hell, anytime I can manage an even 2 lb loss in a week, I feel proud.  I really don’t expect any more than that these days.
So yes, that means I did only lose 2 lbs this past week on my experiment compared to the 6.8 lbs I lost the first week, but I have two words for you:  Takeout Chinese

I was planning on making our homemade version of pork fried rice, but hubby really wanted the “real thing” as he put it.  The 1-2 punch of higher sodium and calories pretty much guarantees me some weight re-gain and/or maintenance every time, even with portion control.  I had a 1.4 lb gain the next morning and it stuck with me for THREE DAYS!  Finally, and thankfully, this morning 2.2 lbs dropped off giving me a 2 lb loss for the week… just in time!

I knew the loss was coming because I persevered through that second day of maintenance even though I seriously had some “default me” thoughts…  I want to sit on the couch and watch TV all day… I want a bowl of sugary cereal… can I really handle losing more weight and sticking to the diet needed to maintain my loss?
Those thoughts scare me a bit, but every now and again, old me and old thoughts must resurface.  I think she needs to come out of the dark hole I shoved her into so she isn’t so afraid she’s completely disappearing so I can avoid that one day I won’t recognize myself… in a bad way.

Change can be scary… even change that brings positives such as better health, smaller sized clothing and compliments.  When I feel too exposed, I want to run and hide… in my fat… under layers.  I have to get used to shedding my layers as they gradually come off and when they come off too quickly, sometimes I revolt and do something that makes them come back on.
So who knew there was such a downside to losing weight quickly?  I’m here to tell you there is.

I’ve never wanted something and been afraid of it at the same time so much in my entire life.

I let old me come out so she will feel OK… not abandoned… not too exposed… so that hopefully I can avoid the behavior of having success followed by total retreat and denial and the weight regain that follows.  Been there, got the t-shirt and don’t want that experience again.  I need to take these baby steps so default me doesn’t rear her ugly head and undo my achievement a couple years from now.

So I let myself have a “lazy day” and instead of a big bowl cereal, I portioned out my amount and had almond milk instead of cow milk.  Signs of change people… signs of change.  Sometimes I can manage that control, and sometimes I can’t.  I guess it was a good day… one that lead to another, that lead to 2.2 lbs coming off this morning… my payoff.

Today is awesome so far.  Even before noon I had 4 meals and 48 ounces of water down (plus 2 mugs of black tea).  Getting that much water in before noon is always a good sign.  I swear that water is the miracle weight loss drug.  On days like this I can literally feel myself getting thinner.  I’m telling you I will have another weight loss tomorrow.  I’m that sure of it.  Glug, glug.

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About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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One Response to Results, Setbacks & Baby Steps

  1. sweetopiagirl says:

    Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss.

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