Disappointment… X3

Well I’d say “this day can’t get any worse”, but I fear I’d be jinxing myself.  Today I had a required physical for my health insurance provider.  Last year we just had to fill out a survey and take a couple of calls from a health coach to earn our “incentives” which was $600 per person towards our deductibles.
Well this year they are requiring that we not only fill out the health survey and have health coach calls, but we have to go and get all of our official numbers (weight, BP, glucose, cholesterol, trig, etc) via a doctor and have them submit the form.
Very clearly printed on the form it stated that all costs associated with filling out the form would be covered and they even provide a code for the doctor’s office.  OK, fine… I’ll do it, but only because I have to seeming I just had a complete physical and blood work done back in February.

So I fasted this morning in preparation of the blood tests.  This is tough for me to do seeming I get up at 6 am and my appointment wasn’t until 10 am and I always eat breakfast and have my tea.
But I was handling it well and was in good spirits.  I even weighed myself with my clothes on so I’d have a closer guess as to what my weight would be at the doctor’s (their old fashioned scales almost never fail to pack on another 4-6 lbs that my scale doesn’t).

So there I was patiently waiting in the waiting room and that’s when things went south.
The office lady calls me over to sign off on paperwork and mentions that I’m responsible for a 20% copay for the visit.  I immediately whip out the form provided by my insurance and she gives a look of recognition which I think is a good thing and goes to confer with a woman sitting at a computer, but then comes back to tell me that it says that only the costs to fill out the form would be covered, not the office visit.  Wha???  But the office visit’s purpose is the gather the information to fill out the form!
I even said to her that I would not be here if it weren’t for my insurance requiring me to.  She was less than sympathetic.
So I temporarily go back to my seat and I can physically feel the spike in my heart rate and blood pressure.  Oh great, as if I didn’t already have white coat syndrome when I have to have my blood pressure taken, but now I’m pissed and that’s causing it to rise.  Crap.
I try to take some deep breaths to calm down, but then they call me over to the desk again.
“You owe $48 today.”
Wha??? My eyes bugged out and I actually said out loud “ridiculous” and rolled my eyes and I reached in my purse for my credit card to hand it to her and take it up the ass.  I followed up with “I’ll be having some words with my insurance company.” (pretending to be mad at them and not the lady in front of me – which I kind of was anyway because they were the reason I was there in the first place).

Seriously woman, how much sense does it make that it only covers the costs of filling out the form… what, the 2 minutes it takes the doctor to fill it out?  The cost of the ink from the pen?  What kind of bullshit is that?
That office visit was a fucking necessary part of the cost to fill out that fucking form.  That stupid bitch with her semantics lesson can sit on it and rotate.  What do you want to bet I call my insurance and they say “oh, they shouldn’t have charged you anything.”?
So now I’m livid and my heart was racing.
I go back to my seat and once again try to calm the fuck down because having a really high BP on my records isn’t going to help me.

My day was a little improved when they finally called me back and I weighed in so that their records would indicate a 20 lb loss (yay!) followed by managing a lower BP than I had at my last visit.  Whew!
This was unfortunately the end of the good news for the day.
They take my blood and I wait and wait and my doc comes back to tell me my fasting glucose.  I was worse than my 9 month ago non-fasting glucose!  WTF?  How can regular exercise, eating better and losing 20 lbs equate to a worsened glucose reading???  Though she did tell me that cut off for earning that type II diabetes diagnosis would be 126 and I was at least under that… for now.
Well, then my cholesterol and triglycerides better be improved when those tests come back! Grr.

Still trying to swallow that bad news, I stop by the bathroom on my way out before making the 40 minute trip home to find out I got my period.  Why is this bad news?  Well, because we were trying to get pregnant.  I wanted to cry right there in the bathroom, but held my shit together.

I’ve been home for over an hour now and I still haven’t cried.  On the drive home I felt numb and my emotions and head felt clouded over.  I was torn between anger that my sugars were worse and sadness over not getting pregnant.
There were so many timing factors that would have all played out so nicely if we’d managed to get pregnant this time around.  I already had an OBGYN appointment set up (for another purpose) that happened to exactly correspond to when I would be getting a first ultrasound.   Then we could have framed the picture and given it to my in-laws as a surprise at Christmas.  The baby would have come in the summer while my son was out of school so we could have some bonding time and the big change wouldn’t be while he’s trying to deal with school.
I understand that most people (read: women) would think I was unrealistic and nuts for thinking we’d get pregnant on our first try, but honestly, that’s all I’ve ever known!  Every time my hubby & I have tried to get pregnant, we have (one miscarriage, one full term).  So why not think it could happen again when I’m basing it on my own past history?
Everything seemed to be lining up just right… I finally got my weight under my last conception weight (a mini goal of mine), my cycles got back on track for the first time in 2 years and the timing just seemed right.  All I needed to do was get knocked up.  Dammit.  I guess it wasn’t so meant to be.


About gwenacious

Always a person in progress. On a mission of self-improvement and exploring my artistic side.
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One Response to Disappointment… X3

  1. gwenacious says:

    Here it is 2 years later. Guess what I got in the mail just last week? A check from my doctor’s office stating I’d overpaid for my 2011 visit!!! They paid me back $89. So suck it bitch, I was right!!!! It only took them 2 years to sort it out. I bet if I’d complained at the time I wouldn’t have gotten shit back… that’s just the way it works.
    Oh and I got pregnant when I was meant to… just had to wait a few more months and here I am now with my almost one year old in my lap as I type this. 🙂

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